For All You Lexophiles 


1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism
it's your count that votes.

6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and
I'll show you A-flat minor.

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is
fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down
under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't
find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and
'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never
developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortune teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will
be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've
seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray
hair she thought she'd dye.

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know
basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the
agony of defeat.

Views: 60

Replies to This Discussion

What happened to the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.

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