...An old drunk stumbles across a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and stand next to the preacher. The minister notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, preacher, I sure am."
The minister dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.
"Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asks. "Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk.
The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up, and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
"Noooo, I have not, Reverend."
The preacher, in disgust, holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water, and says in a harsh tone, "My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher,...
................."Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
 

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Falling Into Water

The Presbyterians were convening in Scotland. After a couple of days of sitting on hard pews, a group decided to stretch their legs in the countryside. Soon they approached a rickety old bridge over a river. They were so busy talking they missed the Keep Off the Bridge sign.

A villager saw them step onto the dangerous span and yelled for them to stop. "That’s all right," one of the ministers responded. "We’re here from the Presbyterian convention."

"I dinna care aboot that," came the reply. "But if ye go much farther, ye’ll all be Baptists!"

These lines did make me laugh (ha ha) - I think they are very funny!

Obviously NOT PC - but, hey, this is Spiritual Caffeine!  I think it is definitely in the spirit (!) of this group ...

Warning...this is rather long but I personally regard it as one of the funniest..and moving...and bitter sweet stories regarding how God's plans for a person can be utterly and totally missed by those of us who think that we practically have God in our back pocket!

Been there...done that....got the T-shirt.....never want to go back there again!

http://www.christianforums.com/t7674313/

 

The story of homeless man Angelo by Rick Joyner!

"But what did he overcome, and how was he martyred?"

He overcame the world with My love. Very few have overcome so much with so little. Many of My people dwell in homes that kings would have envied just a century ago because of their conveniences, but do not appreciate them, while Angelo would so appreciate a cardboard box on a cold night that he would turn it into a glorious temple of My presence. He began to love everyone and everything. He would rejoice more over an apple than My people do over a great feast. He was faithful with all that I gave him, even though it wasn't very much compared to what I gave others, including you. I showed him to you in a vision because you passed by him many times. You even once pointed him out to one of your friends and spoke of him."

"I did? What did I say?"

"You said, 'There is another one of those Elijahs who must have escaped from the bus station.' You said he was 'a religious nut' who was sent by the enemy to turn people off the gospel."

     

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