Inspired by a comic I read as a teenager... Some wise or rather less than wise advice I got sent... enjoy :)
Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
Noisy neighbour's TV? Order the same remote control, stand outside their lounge window and switch the powersave on and off :D. It will drive them nuts.
Always poo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.