"He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When something feels bigger than you, it’s easy to walk away and say fear interfered. And you’ll be right. It did interfere. But is it the fear of the scary or the fear of the scary good that you are letting rock your boat? (key word: letting)
Oftentimes, when we face what we’re resisting, we find that it’s actually the good stuff that scares us far more than the truly scary stuff.
I experience fear every single day. But it’s this fear that when unraveled leads to strength and growing confidence.
When I feel paralyzed by fear, I do the following exercise. And it works every single time.
… send one-sentence email to person x (person x = this person feels big + scary in your mind and you find it hard to justify why person x would want to receive an email from you)
… write down the phone number for that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off
… print an image related to a goal or dream and post it where you will see it A LOT
… open the envelope (you don’t have to look at what’s inside, just take the first action and open it)
Can you take a single action today to confront a fear?
~ Carolyn Rubenstein
Hallo, David! I'm going to take up your exercise.
One of my fears is, of course, offending people, and so sometimes I bite my tongue b4 saying things.
What I need to remind myself, reminds me of your first lines, about being afraid of good things happening -- I remind myself that getting through the awkward moment may lead to a smoother relationship afterwards.
So, I take a moment, cut my heat in half, cut my urgency in half, toss out my desire to blame, and then ramp up my ways of understanding the person.
If there is any argument left after that, I'll come out with it. After that process it usually comes out in a way that doesn't immediately cause more heat and defensiveness! And there is often more understanding around the corner. Greater good!
Thanks to you, thanks to Emerson, thanks to Carolyn Rubenstein!
All the best, Jennet