Hello dear Family
I'm a bit confused, I need your opinion, if what I done was right or wrong...
My mum and her brothers had a very difficult childhood. She barely talks about it but she told she has been beaten a lot and suffered from psychologic tortures from her mother. I didn't see my "grandmother" for more than 15 years and I never wanted to get to know this horrible person. But the many incidents from last year brought my mum down, now she's depressive, she barely eats (she looks so thin!!), she doesn't sleep, because of old memories coming at the surface. She decided to see a therapist today, for the first time ever. As she called me on the phone earlier today (after her meeting with the therapist), she said she was ok butI could feel in her voice that she was suffering and that this "recovering" process costs her a lot of the strenght she has left.
Now here is my mistake: I founded the phone number of her mother and pretended to call for an investigation about the service in a hospital she was in lately. I don't know what I thought I would reach with this call. I just thought maybe I could bring this evil mowan to call my mum to apologize for what she did to her. I just couldn't tell who I was. We talked a bit and I thought I would talk to a monster, but she's a normal person, she doesn't have a bad behavior, she believes in God, in Forgivness and said that Love is the cure to heal the Humanity.
I'm confused. Feelings are overwhelming me. I talk to my "grandmother" I didn't see for more than 15 years. And didn't say who I was. My family has so many dirty secrets and some of them are hurting the most adorable, generous, and beautiful person I now: my mum.
I wish I could do magic to erase all the pain and suffering in her heart. I feel so useless. It's so terrible, wanting to help or to save someone and there's nothing you can do. Just give love and compassion. That helps, I know, but that doesn't erase bad memories...
I love you all. Much Love & Light to you.