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My big mistake (yes another one)
Hello dear Family
I'm a bit confused, I need your opinion, if what I done was right or wrong...
My mum and her brothers had a very difficult childhood. She barely talks about it but she told she has been beaten a lot and suffered from psychologic tortures from her mother. I didn't see my "grandmother" for more than 15 years and I never wanted to get to know this horrible person. But the many incidents from last year brought my mum down, now she's depressive, she barely eats (she looks so thin!!), she doesn't sleep, because of old memories coming at the surface. She decided to see a therapist today, for the first time ever. As she called me on the phone earlier today (after her meeting with the therapist), she said she was ok butI could feel in her voice that she was suffering and that this "recovering" process costs her a lot of the strenght she has left.
Now here is my mistake: I founded the phone number of her mother and pretended to call for an investigation about the service in a hospital she was in lately. I don't know what I thought I would reach with this call. I just thought maybe I could bring this evil mowan to call my mum to apologize for what she did to her. I just couldn't tell who I was. We talked a bit and I thought I would talk to a monster, but she's a normal person, she doesn't have a bad behavior, she believes in God, in Forgivness and said that Love is the cure to heal the Humanity.
I'm confused. Feelings are overwhelming me. I talk to my "grandmother" I didn't see for more than 15 years. And didn't say who I was. My family has so many dirty secrets and some of them are hurting the most adorable, generous, and beautiful person I now: my mum.
I wish I could do magic to erase all the pain and suffering in her heart. I feel so useless. It's so terrible, wanting to help or to save someone and there's nothing you can do. Just give love and compassion. That helps, I know, but that doesn't erase bad memories...
I love you all. Much Love & Light to you.
Your jo
Comment
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Comment by Billie Baker on January 14, 2008 at 11:39am
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Something that has helped me with abuse issues is finding who I am really and to do that I ahve had alot of help.
My recovery process started with ACoA ~ Adult Children Of Alcoholics and from there I was introduced to many Authors in that field one that I have found to be most benificial is Byron Katie. you can go to her website and check out all of her information about the work. When we really know the truth Thats when we are set free.many blessings to you and your family.
Namaste,
Billie
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Comment by Treymon Lj on December 2, 2007 at 2:33pm
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Oh Yea,... and http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LawofAttraction/
is a blast. Meet Leenda or Dr. Nature. She is a major way giggler of utmost import.
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Your jo:
Sounds like a few pages right out of my life,...I feel ya.
I read a book called "Excuse Me, You Life Is Waiting!" by Lynn Grabhorn that led me to www.abraham-hicks.com that led me to the first experience with my unconditional loving Higher Self! It was just about 5 minutes of pure wonderment. How I could possibly see the perfection in all things was a mystery to me, How I could be gently nudged from a slumber of many grievances by a near death auto accident into an deep appreciation for life and laughter still has me giggling!
Anywho,... I am doing the A Course in Miralces and was reminded of a lesson here http://acim.home.att.net/workbook078.html that will give me coolness this day.
I have also done some timeline healing that was very helpful for me and just added much more giggling time.
Thank you for writing about this and know that you are so loved and hugged by all. Miracles are such a relief to behold. There is nothing you have to do or to qualify for. Know that you are most worthy and in my book a truly awesome oneness of clarity that seems to need just one more drop of appreciation for your self.
Much Love Hugs and Namaste!
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