I am doing a bit better...I think that losing weight, would be a huge blessing in disguise for me! LOL!

I have been trying to do a LOT better with my diabetes..as in eating a whole lot less..and my sugars have been a LOT lower..not always in the 200's as they were before..but, it also is because I have not been feeling all that great..with a horrible back ache..and because of the pain in my back from arthritis is to eat a LOT less...and or not snacking and re-snacking over and over again...I MUST lose the weight..because I just feel so YUKKO!! The pain is always there, and so, because of the back pain..I need to start to lose more tummy weight, so that my back ache gets a whole lot better...rather than worse...(trust me, it is NOT fun feeling extremely overweight!!) Just feeling the back pain..over and over again..I was stuck in bed for about two weeks, with a horrible back pain,no fun!! I think it was because of me bingeing on junk foods..and a TON of it..and the bad part was that I should NOT have been doing this..it isn't good for me..and it isn't great for the diabetes...plus, here are some great helpful hints here...
That I would love to have my eyesite..and not go blind..because that would mean that I would not be able to drive..and I love to drive cars!!! (and if we get a car..that would mean that I would be able to drive one!! If I don't eat right, or take care of my body and eat the better things..then I might lose body parts.,.and or my eyes...and THAT, my friends would be the absolute pits! Trust me, I love to drive! LOL!
I do NOT want to lose THAT privilige!!

Anyhow, that is a huge incentive for giving up a LOT of junk foods..Hard though, at times..but, I MUST stick to it!!!

I just want to feel great again! I don't think that I will be able to be the same slender person that I was before. LOL! But, I sure do wish!!

Oh, and the other thing that I believe that I have been dealing with lately is either "Premenopause" or the actual MENOPAUSE!! I get these ugly feelings of feeling hot,,and I do NOT just mean a little bitty hot, either!! LOL!
I called up my mom to ask her, when or how old she was when she started to have those feelings..and it may have started in her 40's or a bit after..(I am 45 years old, so, that is why I kind of wondered about it...because this has been happening to me for a long time now...!!) My mom told me that it can last!
One part of me is a bit sad...because even know I knew that I was not going to have kids..I just feel a bit sad about it...ya know? and that my periods that I was sooo used to being annoyed by..are a' leavin' me! LOL! I probably should party it up..but, I have these mixed feelings about it...that's all!!

I guess that this is "normal" for anybody to go thru..but, ya know..I guess that I never really thought of how special it was to be able to give birth..and have a child..and now, I won't be able to (not that I was trying to..because hubby didn't want anymore..and well, I don't know that I would want to...but, there is a small part of me, that still wouldn't mind..ya know? But, it is a whole heck of a LOTTA work..and I have already raised a LOT of children...up in the world...and while they were NOT mine..they were in some small ways!!! (I was a nanny for about 37+ years..and a preschool teacher as well, for about 10 years or so!! I worked my butt off, though, as a nanny!!)

Anyhow, that is just something..that I thought that I would mention that has been happening to me lately!!

Just a part of life!!


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