SELF INQUIRY - FEAR - H1N1
Self Inquiry

This may not be very coherent or fluid, I seem to be all over the place and I am not going to stop. Excuses be gone! Fear of ridicule, be gone!

It all started with all the propaganda on the H1N1 vaccine. Boy what a reaction. “What right does anyone have to impose that we (I) be vaccinated?” So after I got through that one, I had to stop and ask myself what is so threatening about all this. Why does it make me feel so vulnerable? What is it that I am really afraid of? Is it about loosing the ability to choose, to decide for myself? Initially, that was the first thing that came up and then it took another direction. Was it about the primal fear of DEATH? Dead if I do, what if it’s true, dead if I don’t. There is such fear surrounding death. Inevitably we are born or manifested into this physical world and ultimately we will die but to what, of what, could it be our little ego! Do we really die? So what are we really so afraid of? What is really being masked through all this retaliation? Is it really just about death or free choice? Then I had this wonderful thought when looking for what good could come from all this, maybe just maybe, there is a Universal scam underlying the Political one, lolll.... What if, through what seems to be the need for human survival etc., there was a Universal theme of Unity, life. Think about it just for a moment. What is happening? There is this incredible fear of annihilation and people from across the globe are coming together, joining forces to say NO to mandatory vaccination. How great is that! So what’s the problem, this is great. So as I keep surrendering and sliding down even deeper, this came next. So what if my real fear comes from what I think I have wanted all my life, what I have worked towards all my life; Self-realization, Unity Consciousness. WOW…………glad it’s just a thought, a scary one at that. Ya but doesn’t thought manifest itself? Self sabbotage, ouch!!! So now the question becomes, what am I afraid of loosing if I were to achieve Unity consciousness; my independence, Individuality, Free will, what is it? Wow, some of these beliefs are really deeply rooted. Fear is a large part of our present collective consciousness. Are we not afraid of who and what we are or could be or become? Could it be that we are afraid of our authentic power? Our we afraid to create beauty, camaraderie and maybe even peace; would that be boring? Are we not afraid of change even though at some level it is what we want most? You have been so busted girl! Let’s blow this thing straight out of the water! CAN IT GET ANY CRAZIER? Straight to the Looney bin or not. What a wild ride. The joke might just be on the “Controllers”, then again maybe it's on me.

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Comment by Leif Erlingsson on January 26, 2010 at 1:09pm
Right on! Made me think of this that I wrote 2009-06-30: http://leiferlingsson.lege.net/2009/06/30/sentineling-2009-06-30/ . Excerpt from the longer text on the link: "we investigate if our consciousnesses through our unconsciousnesses create the crises of our times, this in order to force ourselves to changes in awareness and attitude by use of the universe." Best, Leif in Sweden

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