When somebody is not doing a good job and you are asked to coment on his or her work, how should one anser the question? I do not want to hurt anybody, but am wonderfing how to be truthful without causing harm?
Response: This is quite a tricky situation. If this relates to your workplace then it is a matter of discipline. If you are on the righteous path and mean to cause no harm to any one, then you will always create an aura of your own, where people will learn a lot by just being in your presence.
But at times you need to take a stand just to make sure no body takes advantage of your softness. It is the work in the workplace that is important. It is the corporate goal that is important. The team leader will have to lead by his/her own example and at times be hard in order to set the house in order.
As long as you don't deliberately hurt the other but do it for the good of the other, you are OK. It is like your child is hurt when you chastise her, but if you do not do it and allow her to do what she pleases, that could lead to wrong practices on the part of your child. Do you think that will ever do good to your child? Of course, you need to give freedom to your child to a certain extent else how will he flourish? But, you need to keep a check on how he uses the Freedom.
So, your motivation is to not hurt others. At the same time, getting the desired results out of a person or group also needs tactful administrative skills.
Look for the right time to communicate what you want to communicate and give it without any sense of ego involved in it, and let the other person feel that you are who you are. Tell the person that you want him to improve. Be gentle. Be calm but at the same time, be firm! Listen patiently to what the person has to say and before you conclude, try to delve on his opinions that make sense to you. Finally, incorporate both the aspects-yours and his and make your remark.
Leave the rest to the Divine in a note of utter surrender.
Finally truth hurts. But who is hurt? One who is not in the path of the truth and treads the path of untruth. How can you help that!