“Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled with the spirit of God, and blesses are those who are persecuted for righteousness for theirs are the kingdom of Heaven.”
Life is about choice.. choosing to do the right thing even though your alone in that choice, by not letting the fear of the unknown cloud your thinking. In that fear when the path become hard to see we run back to what we know, even if what we know is broken beyond repair.
Words that has rung in my head for weeks, causing turmoil as I think of all that has come to pass in the past 5 years. My mind driving me insane with these thoughts and more. So when I watched this program, it made me sit back, pause and replay. How can what is in my mind just be said back to me in a program I have not watched before? This is like a validation of all that was running in my head. Here this man, spoke back to me the words that haunt my thoughts, WORD for WORD.
It made me reflect on all that has occurred, those that I have met that I have called friend. Those I have loved that always always left, saying words that is meant to harm, yet, words that hold no truth. Person after person, I come to depend on, their presence, healing a portion of me. When the healing is done, they leave, but we as humans have trouble letting go. Most of the time it end in hurting for both.
These people are on your path for a reason and we fall so deeply into them, that we disappear slowly, and in time we become the space around them. We become like them in so many ways. The deeper we allow them in the less of ourself we are. So when they leave we feel shocked lost and so bitterly alone and unwanted. In a limbo state, floating in a void with unknown direction, your pain multiplied with fear of what now? Where to now? Why? Why is this happening again?
When you get this deep into a person on this plane it lead to a power struggle as in your world you became a self sufficient unity, a oneness with each other. BUT you disconnect from spirit, and in the end the oneness are not replenished by spirit, and the energy in that sphere start to dwindle, and a struggle commence, between one that is more dominant and the one that is not start to be drained of life force. At some point the one being drained start to fight back. The only way out is to leave, the oneness needs to be broken, or repaired. In most cases its broken, as to fast the dominant one will resume the cycle started.
The turmoil it cause bring pain, because you and that person became each others existence, yet in the end you are alone in who you are. They were never meant to be you existence, you are the only one that is your existence. Oneness is what we need here, but this plane is not ready for that level of consciousness.
When you walk away you go through so many levels of grief at the loss of all that was, as you try to grasp something that will help you as at this time you will feel lost as if your on a little boat on a wide ocean. Especially if you were connected to the point of oneness.
This is the time people dive into another relationship, or find solace in an others arms, but it is not the path you should take.
This stage is the time you should sit down, reflect and listen to that little voice inside you that for the duration of this relationship you have not paid attention to, YOU. Do not give in to the child self that tell you how lost you are, or the ego that tell you so much negative self stuff, but deeper to that inner core you are, the one you always were.
In that silent moment of absolute stillness and quiet, that you will find the answers and the truth to who you are, and remember all you were before. It will be a time to remember the path you walked. And the reason for this detour you took, and why.
It bring you back to your center a place where you are whole complete and not lost, a place where you hear the voice of spirit, and know the next step you should take. Even if at the time that step is shrouded in doubt and mist, then you should stay seated in stillness listening to self and spirit and waiting for the mist to lift. This is the place of YOUR truth, the only truth you need at this time.
You need oneness in yourself not in another person, when you are one with yourself, in true unconditional love, you can achieve oneness with another person, if that person has achieved oneness in themselves. But the biggest mistake we make is to disconnect from spirit, as lovers usually do and they feed of each others energy. When the moon phase end and the reality of life enter that oneness, that is when you should both re-balance oneness and reconnect to spirit.
For years I wrote about this, And practiced it, but in the end, when the other person is not ready, oneness can not survive.
It is better to have loved and lost to not have loved at all – is a very old saying, and now sitting in this state of connectedness, listening to myself and spirit and objectively looking at the past 5 years... I see how the choices I made affected my path, but I also see how each choice was the correct one, to bring me to this place. It brought me peace, in understanding that there is more to my path than I was able to see, and I trust in myself enough to know that where ever my path lead me now, will be the best place for me to be. At that time, to receive the optimal space for yet another lesson, in love.
My friends and family look to my life and see the failures the inability to be normal, to have what they have. Some friends questions my words, calling them falsities, or worst, they are incorrect in their perception, but that is their right to see from their perception. They do not have all the information nor the experience of my path to even have a glimmer of understanding to where my path lead me. I look to the past year as the steps to a higher plane, perfectly designed to provide for me the correct circumstance to achieve the next level of consciousness. Even if it was walked in pain.
I am choosing to do the right thing even though I am alone in that choice, by not letting the fear of the unknown cloud my thinking and emotions. We are not the emotions we experience, they are the means for us to experience the lessons, and the pain, it make you feel, its the bodies way to tell you to look beyond what was, to the infinite possibilities to learn and grow. A ending is not the end, its the beginning to a who new chapter in the book you call MY LIFE.