I read so much love and compassion on this ning and it always gladdens my heart every time I see it. I also see a lot of talk about the joy of meeting your twin flame and the feeling of utter copmpleteness that brings. No-one seems to talk about the pain that that recognition can bring.
I have met someone whom I feel deep inside me is my twin flame. while feeling overwhelming joy and completeness when we talk, I also feel deep sadness that we are miles apart and not together.
I am married with children and do not feel capable of bearing the pain that breaking the family home will entail. My twin is thousands of miles from me, but feels the same thing I do. I feel him deep inside and it is more than just the passionate earthy love, but something far greater tha that, something pure and unconditional. We have been talking almost every day through the internet since Feb 09 and on the days we cannot speak, I feel like my heart is breaking wide open.
Since December '08 I have felt an urgency, a presence of change and although I have had empath gifts all my life up til then I have been able to ignore them, shut them down. I can no longer do that. I feel spirit presence around me, sometimes overwhelmingly so. I feel others emotions keenly and know they are not my own, but I am unable to swith them off, stop them overruling my own. Although i do not have the gift of sight, I am becoming able to describe certain things about the spirits when they are about - its like words popping into my head unbidden. My twin flame is also an empath I have since found out, although is far advanced of me in being able to control and use his abilities.
I have an overwhelming urge and need to be with him, and i am plagued by dreams of meetings which are yet to happen. I know that day will come when I am finally with him in person, when the connection of a computer screen becomes unnecessary. I feel the need and calling within, the one that says once I am with him I can open my heart and serve humanity as is my calling.
I honestly do not know what tomorrow brings. I am not sad, but I am not happy. I am not content, but I am not restless.
I am stood on a crossroads, before me lays two paths and I see the one I have to walk quite clearly marked. I see the beginnings of the path covered with briar and know that the pain brought will be necessary for me to grow and develop, that walking it is essential for the joy and happiness and completeness and peace that it will bring.
I know I need to discuss with my husband how I feel, that although I have love for him, it is not as a wife should love her husband. That.... well, the conversation that I know I need to have and yet still cannot think of how to start or address once started.